In Memoriam by Brette Popper

My father passed away almost two weeks ago and my teacher suggested that my 13 years of daily practice had prepared me for the eventuality of his death.
Tony Popper never really understood my leaving the corporate world and my more recent desire to practice and teach yoga. As I completed more certifications and added more courses to my resume, he couldn’t comprehend how I didn’t move up in some great yoga hierarchy.
I certainly haven’t trained for or taken this death of a parent asana before. It is unfamiliar, dark and difficult. I’ve taken thousands of trikonasanas, uttanasanas and savasanas and hundreds of adho muka svanasana variations but never experienced anything like this.
There is however something in the depth of those poses that gives me the strength to deal with this very new and real experience.
In my past several morning meditations I try to explain to my father that the alignment and focus I utilize in the shapes I put myself in every day prepares me for gracefully handling the situations, like his death, that I can’t imagine.
I hope that wherever his soul is he now understands what an achievement this is.

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One comment

  1. My heart joins yours Brette, in cracking slowly open. The practice opens the space to hold this breaking heart, and allow the breath to slowly massage awareness to accept loss as the same gift as love. Not separating love and loss, accepting sorrow as shakiness in a familiar asana.
    I send my love to you. We carry our fathers now as they once carried us, as a promise of possibilitiy.

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